I was totally psyched to see that the NSA had developed a "spy-proof" phone for Obama—basically a free ticket to TXT and forward obscene joke-mails to his friends without the anxiety of being caught. This is doing two things for me in terms of understanding the new leader of the free world;
- Barack is no different than the rest of us. His legs are up on the Oval Office scattering the dust of victory left behind by George W. Bush and getting quality lulz throughout the day just like the rest of us. Here's what is basically going on;
Oval Office. 9:13am.
ButchedByBill: Dude did u get that pic yo?
TheFirstBrotha: Hillary that shit was sick. What did u eat?
ButchedByBill:
Like fifteen Coney's. Is it ratemypoop.com worthy?TheFirstBrotha: Totally. 9.8.
ButchedByBill: Wat u doin now?
TheFirstBrotha: Got a new pair of shutter glasses like Kanye. Lookin outside.
- Foreign relations will be completely redefined. You want to talk about instantaneous sentiment towards international disasters or compliments to leaders of foreign nations? No more phone calls—Barack is going to straight TXT that shit now.
Oval Office. 9:15am.
TheFirstBrotha: Srry bout the floods. How many u lose? L
JintaoJintao: Like 10,000z. Suxors.
TheFirstBrotha: Whoa. U GOTZ PWNED!
JintaoJintao: Thx a lot 9-11 face.
TheFirstBrotha:
L
And that's how its gonna get done. Need food stamps? No worries, just TXT SrslyHngry to the Secretary of Agriculture. Word on the street is you can even opt for a stimulus package of 1,000 TXT's instead of cash back on your tax return. In terms of lulz that is totally priceless. Now that is the kind of change I can believe in.
My only question is if Obama has a super spy-proof BarackBerry and he's the only one with one, won't hackers just get into other foreign leader's phones, like Sarkozy for example? It makes more sense anyway—you know he's got pics of Carla Bruni. And she is nuclear hot now.
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